Flora arrived at the Harriett Buhai Center after years of struggling to break her family free from her husband’s captivity. Her long road to the Center’s doors began when she filed for divorce.

That act should have been the end to an abusive marriage but it was instead the start of more violence.

Flora was no stranger to her husband’s drug-fueled rage and threats to her life. When he grabbed her by the throat and told her he would “kill her before ever letting her have the kids”, she knew he meant it.

In his desperation, her husband kidnapped their two young boys and took them to Mexico. “He told me if I didn’t return to him I wouldn’t get my children back. I felt like I had no choice.”

Flora and her children were trapped for two years. He hid the children’s personal documents and belongings with various family members knowing she wouldn’t leave without them. His physical and sexual violence continued; she got pregnant and miscarried.

Secretly she collected her children’s legal documents. She hid them at a neighbor’s house along with small batches of their clothing, one at a time.

Eventually she had everything she needed to escape. She and her children boarded a bus to bring them to the United States where her family was waiting. Her husband called the authorities who stopped her bus en route.

“The driver told me I could not get off and people were coming for me. I waited for him to use the restroom and I begged the attendant to give me my bags and let me go.”

Flora and her children hid without food or money for nearly two days until her family arrived and drove them back to the U.S.

Her husband followed her. Attacked again, Flora called the police and got a restraining order. She and the children lived in fear, but she knew she had to finalize the divorce she started so long ago and protect herself and her children.

When Flora arrived at the Harriett Buhai Center for Family Law, Staff Attorney Judy Schwartz-Behar represented her in court. Several years after Flora first tried to escape, thanks to the Center’s advocacy, she was granted a divorce along with sole legal and physical custody of her children.

“It was a great experience working on Flora’s case,” Judy says. “It really showed how unique and extreme our clients’ stories can be at times.”

“I am so thankful to the Harriett Buhai Center for helping me get out of my horrible marriage,” says Flora. “Because of their help, I am able to protect my children.”

 *Client’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.

HBCFL: Hello Moms! Thank you for your participation in our Mothers of the Center dialogue. Does being a mother affect your work at the Center?

Karina: I was a young mother who fell into an abusive relationship. I understand the feeling of desperation, and of having nowhere to turn. This I believe helps me empathize and understand our clients and they usually easily open up.

Nina: Definitely, I think it allows me to better understand the difficult choices that our clients have to make and the responsibilities that they have. I often admire our clients for keeping things together and providing for their children when they have so little. I can also understand how protective they may feel towards their children, and how it might be difficult for them to understand how the court makes decisions.

Judy: Yes, being a mom informs almost everything I do at the Center. It has helped me be more empathetic during our initial intake interviews when I am working with frustrated mothers and fathers who are in the middle of ugly custody battles.

HBCFL: Do you feel certain cases/situations you see at the Center affect you more as a mother?

Karina: I do find that sometimes it is hard not to project myself and my children in some of the overwhelming situations that our clients get into. I find myself fighting for our clients as if I was fighting for my own children.

Nina: I think that since becoming a mother, any cases involving children may affect me more than they would have done prior to becoming a mother. I think the particularly difficult cases are the ones where the child has suffered some form of abuse, or where our client is being denied access to their child.

HBCFL: Why are you engaged in public interest work?

Karina: Violence is a big problem in our society. Years from now the children around us will be the ones in relationships and having children. Helping victims break the cycle of violence will help our children live better lives now. By helping our children we are making a positive change in our future and I get personal satisfaction when I know I am helping others advance their lives. The smiles in their faces inspire me.

Nina: So many things inspire me here – first and foremost, our clients and the changes we see in them as they become more empowered throughout their case. I am also very much inspired by our staff, which is comprised of such a dedicated group of people. In addition, our volunteers are just wonderful and it is heartening to see so many people wanting to help our clients and donate so much time and energy to the Center.

Judy:  Before I was a lawyer, I was a teacher and I saw how much a child’s home life can affect their ability to succeed academically. My motivation for going into public interest work was to use the law as a vehicle for helping parents create more functional homes for their children.

HBCFL: Is it difficult to find the balance between your work life and home life?

Karina: I constantly feel like I am being split between having to be both a Mom and a Paralegal. Although I know I am trying my best at both, sometimes I feel being at work is letting down my children or being at home is letting down my job. But now with one child in college I feel the sacrifice paid off. To hear my son say he wants to be as hard working as his mother makes me feel good.

Nina: Fitting everything in to any given day is a challenge – but it has taught me to become more organized and efficient with my time.

Judy: Accepting that there really is no such thing as work-life balance. Usually, when I am particularly “on” at work and getting a lot done, I feel as though I am dropping the domestic ball and vice versa. I am lucky to have a part time schedule and an extremely supportive spouse who knows his way around the kitchen. Otherwise, all my kids would eat is Baja Fresh and frozen fish nuggets!

HBCFL: Thank you Karina, Nina and Judy for sharing your experience as a working mom at the Harriett Buhai Center for Family Law. We are lucky to have such passionate women on our staff.

Editor’s note: Karina is a mother of two sons, ages 18 and 12; Nina is a mother to a 2 ½ year old daughter with her second due this summer; Judy is a mother to two boys, ages 4 and 1 with her third arriving in June.

“I feel rewarded and challenged each time I work at the Harriett Buhai Center. I know that the work I do changes people’s lives for the better. I feel very gratified when I am able to help an abused client end the abuse, their marriage and move forward with their life.

As a mother, I understand the depth of the concern when a client who is a mother is fearful for her child’s emotional, physical or financial well being. Through the experience of being a mother, I have learned the art of patience, empathy and compassion. I let them say what they need to say, listen, comfort them, and then ask them the questions I need to know so that I can work within the system to get them the help they need.

Being a mother makes me more sensitive to a client’s plight. Though my circumstances may be different than theirs, I understand their struggles. When I hear an unjust story from a client that affects the children, I can’t help but get emotional about it. Tapping into those emotions help me to better advocate on their behalf.

I began volunteering at the Harriett Buhai Center three years ago and joined the Board of Directors in 2010. Family law was my favorite course in law school and I heard about the Center from another volunteer and the alumni office at Loyola Law School. Although I have been working in entertainment, I realized that I had never pursued family law and that I wanted to. I knew the Center would be a good place to learn but what I found at the Center has been much more than a learning experience. The Center has become a big part of my life, one of my passions and has provided so much more meaning and enrichment to my life.”

To learn more about volunteering at the Harriett Buhai Center, contact volunteer@hbcfl.org

Here is just a taste of the wonderful feedback the Center has received regarding the training so far:

“Thank you for a wonderful program. Great materials, excellent workshop leaders and beautifully planned day”. -B.B., CA Attorney

 “I would like to thank all the staff at the Harriett Buhai Center for Family Law for unforgettable and outstanding presentation on Saturday. Especially staff attorney Meredith and Volunteer attorney Iran that shared their valuable experience with all of us. I am looking forward to start my volunteer duties and hoping to continue for years to come. Thank you” –H.S., Law Grad

 “Thanks again for organizing the training. It was very inspiring and instructive especially for me who hasn’t practiced law in quite some time. I haven’t used my brain like that in a long time!” –K.B., CA Attorney

“I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed the seminar this weekend! The Staff and Volunteer Attorneys were so knowledgeable and friendly, I learned so much, and the entire experience was amazing!! I just wish I had heard about this center and the volunteer opportunities offered earlier. I look forward to my first volunteer assignment at the center soon. Thanks again for everything.” –D.L., CA Attorney

 “I must tell you that Saturday by far exceeded my expectations! I was so touched by all the lovely stories and impressed by your wonderful staff. I am so looking forward to my first day as a volunteer.” –T.C., Paralegal

For more information on volunteering: volunteer@hbcfl.org or 213-388-7505 ext.319

Along with Judith R. Forman, who received the Zephyr M. Ramsey Award, top honors went also to Ellen Peck, who received the Harriett Buhai Community Service Award.

Other honorees included the Center’s 2011 volunteer award recipients: Denise Nardi, Frances Wender Kandel Award; Louise Nixon, Pro Bono Panel Award; Melissa McNair, New Volunteer of the Year; Ellin Palmer, 25 Years of Service; Liza Cunanan, 10 Years of Service; Linda Morra, 10 Years of Service. Click here to watch our 2011 Volunteer Honorees share the impact they make through volunteering at the Harriett Buhai Center.

“I was homeless. My car was my home. I had no place to go. It was a cold winter; so cold at night that I got sick. I was terrified of my husband. I could not find a job. I had no one to help me. I was totally alone until the Center entered my life.” – Dolores, former Harriett Buhai Center client and 2012 Theater Benefit speaker.

“The Harriett Buhai Center stands as a beacon of hope for those enslaved by poverty and domestic violence. Its mission embraces the fabric of values which unite all of us and is so much more: the Center is a catalyst for change and personal empowerment. I thank the Center for the opportunity to play a role in its work and for this lovely honor today.” – Judith R. Forman, Zephyr M. Ramsey Award

“I have experienced the Center’s desire to always serve their clients with the highest level of professional responsibility and ethics. I feel honored to assist the lawyers, staff and volunteers in this important mission. They have become my heroes — they embrace their work passionately, championing their clients’ causes, with empathy and compassion.” – Ellen Peck, Harriett Buhai Community Service Award

For more information about the event, contact events@hbcfl.org or 213-388-7505 ext. 317. Please visit the Harriett Buhai Center on Facebook for more event photos. Keep checking this site for information about the 2013 Theater Benefit!

What:

Harriett Buhai Center for Family Law Presents its

2012 Family Law Training for New Volunteers

When:

Saturday, April 28, 2012

8:30a.m. – 4:00p.m.

Where:

Loyola Law School

919 Albany Street

Los Angeles, CA 90015

CLE Credit:

5.5 Hours

Registration Fees:

$85 For eligible participants who commit to volunteering [price includes the Center's 1,000 page book, "Family Law Basics", update 28th edition]

$25 Law Students [price does not include "Family Law Basics"]

$85 Non-Profit organizations [limit 2 peopel per agency]

$285 Non-Volunteer rate [price includes “Family Law Basics”

Registration Contact:

Nicola Kennedy, Volunteer Coordinator

Email: volunteer@hbcfl.org

Phone: 213-388-7505 ext. 319

My name is Dolores. I am a student at El Camino College. My major is Single Subject Teaching credential. I was a CalWORKs recipient due to the loss of employment. The Harriett Buhai Center goes to the CalWORKs/CARE Program office at El Camino College. I heard that the Center helps low income students with different family law legal matters including divorce. I did not hesitate on taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity, as I was determined to file for divorce.

The first person I met was Cheryl Segal. I was very nervous but her angelical smile and sweet voice calmed me down and I was able to continue with the appointment. I told Cheryl that the only thing I wanted was my freedom back. She looked at me and said, “Well, have you ever considered asking for part of your husband’s retirement money…? It doesn’t hurt to ask, let’s find out!” Cheryl made me feel confident about it, so we proceeded to open a case.

Not long after filing for divorce, my CalWORKs program ended because my daughter turned 18 years old. However, I was eligible to participate in a program called TSE-Transitioned Subsidize Employment through the GAIN program, which allowed me to work full-time to acquire job skills so that I could be on my own when the program expired. This was to last 12 consecutive months, however, due to the budget cuts the program, actually my participation in the program was cut off at the 6^th month, leaving me up in the air, not being able to collect unemployment because it was a federal funded program. As a result I became homeless. As soon as Cheryl found out about this she took immediate action and prepared the necessary documents to request spousal support. In the meantime she supplied me with bus tokens because my car had broken down. She also helped me with her supporting words, which kept encouraging me to be strong and continue with my studies. The first time we went to court attorney Maryam was with me, it was my very first time in a court room and I felt like passing out, not to mention the presence of my husband caused me anxiety. Maryam held my hand and smiled at me and said, “Don’t worry I am here for you.” Maryam’s words and support made it possible for me to go through the process that day and the entire divorce process.

During the time that we were waiting for the Judge’s decision on my spousal support, I submitted an application for the GR program which was rejected even though I was homeless. I communicated this to Cheryl and she immediately referred me to Karina Estrella. Ms. Estrella directed me to the right person to talk to at the GR office and she also contacted someone on my behalf. In the 48 hours after this occurred my application was approved and I was able to receive food stamps and cash aid.

Cheryl Segal also got me a very professional pro bono lawyer, Tobie Waxman. She represented me so well in court that I was able to obtain spousal support effective the next day. Tobie Waxman also represented me in my final divorce trial. During the divorce process, there were a number of other wonderful people who assisted me with professionalism and enthusiasm. I do not remember all of their names but I thank you all for being there for me: Nina, Erin, Mary, Nancy, Elvira, Lindsey Ziegler all of you,

Thank you so much!!

P.S. I can’t wait to get on my feet and be able to contribute to the Center with a financial donation. But, in the meantime I would like to contribute my time if allowed.

Sincerely,

Dolores

Thanks to the effort of all these wonderful people I am now living a normal decent life and continuing my education to achieve my goal of becoming a teacher.

“I have a roof over

my head and food

on my table”

☺

Thank you!

What:

Harriett Buhai Center for Family Law Presents its

2012 Family Law Training for New Volunteers

When:

Saturday, April 28, 2012

8:30a.m. – 4:00p.m.

Where:

Loyola Law School

919 Albany Street

Los Angeles, CA 90015

CLE Credit:

5.5 Hours

Registration Fees:

$85 For eligible participants who commit to volunteering [price includes the Center's 1,000 page book, "Family Law Basics", update 28th edition]

$25 Law Students [price does not include "Family Law Basics"]

$85 Non-Profit organizations [limit 2 peopel per agency]

$285 Non-Volunteer rate [price includes “Family Law Basics”

Registration Contact:

Nicola Kennedy, Volunteer Coordinator

Email: volunteer@hbcfl.org

Phone: 213-388-7505 ext. 319

Sunday, April 15, 2012
Music Center of Los Angeles
4:00 PM – Reception
6:30 PM – Performance of “Green Day’s American Idiot”

Reception and award ceremony honoring:

Judith R. Forman, Zephyr M. Ramsey Award
Ellen Peck, Harriett Buhai Community Service Award

And our 2011 Volunteer Award Recipients:
Denise Nardi, Frances Wender Kandel Volunteer of the Year
Louise Nixon, Pro Bono Attorney of the Year
Melissa McNair, New Volunteer of the Year
Ellin Palmer, 25 Years of Service
Liza Cunanan, 10 Years of Service
Linda Morra, 10 Years of Service

Reception followed by a performance of “Green Day’s American Idiot”, a groundbreaking and exuberant musical adapted from a blockbuster record album. Portraying the ageless story of youth in rebellion, the play follows several young men on their road to self-discovery. This Tony-nominated show reinvents Broadway for a new generation and appeals to all who love live music and dance.

Honorary Committee David Bohnett, Peter Doerken, Candis Duke, Fredric Rosen, Nadine Rosen, Susan R. Stockel, Sorrell Trope, Alfre Woodard

Event Committee Larry A. Ginsberg, Chair Honey Kessler Amado, Robert Brandt, Radell Simon Brown, Deborah Carabet, Carole H. Cohen, Bruce Cooperman, Debra S. Frank, Eunice Castillo, Robert S. Kaufman, Patty Kestin, Erin Kimmel, Betty L. Nordwind, Joan Patsy Ostroy, Patricia Phillips, Jaye Jo Portanova, Heidi Slater, Terry Steen, Cori G. Stockman

After nearly 13 years of abuse–her husband’s violence escalating in tandem with his alcoholism and invovlement with illegal drugs–Ana fled with her three children from Central America to the United States.

With strength that belies her petite size, Ana was determined to obtain lawful permanent resident status and give her family a better life.

Ana cleaned houses and sewed in a clothing factory while her husband was in and out of jail and rehab. He made no attempt to contact or support his children, not even after Ana alerted his family that their 12-year-old son had developed a kidney condition that required him to be on dialysis.

And without sole legal custody of her children, Ana did not have full authority to make medical decisions for them. Divorce was now a necessity.

The immigration expert helping Ana recommended the Buhai Center. The legal staff there quickly started Ana’s divorce proceedings. Ana was granted full legal and physical custody of her children.

“That was the happiest day of my life,” Ana says. “I was so grateful to the Buhai Center.”

Now divorced, Ana was in the final stage of the immigration process when her son’s condition deteriorated.

He was in end stage renal failure, forced to endure daily dialysis to survive. A kidney transplant was his only hope. Emergency Medi-Cal covered his treatment, but would not cover a transplant. The state’s main Medi-Cal program did pay for the life-saving procedure, but Ana and her children could not get it without completing the immigration process and becoming legal permanent residents.

Approval of the immigration process was dependent on issuance of a passport from Ana’s home country. Although Ana’s husband had not seen the children since their separation and divorce, Ana was refused passports for the children because their father retained visitation rights in the court judgment. Ana was shattered to learn that because of this, Medi-Cal would be denied to her son.

“Get a lawyer,” was the final reponse to her tearful pleading over many visits. Ana knew only one place to go.

“She was crying so hard, I couldn’t understand her,” said Karina Estrella, the Buhai Center paralegal who took Ana’s desperate call. “She was frantic. Her son’s life was in danger.”

Buhai lawyers requested an emergency hearing for the distraught mother, but were told by the judge that the father’s visitation rights could only be nullified if he were notified of the action. Despite the father’s lack of cooperation, Ana perservered and through valient efforts was able to give notice to the father to satisfy the court.

Every moment counted. One day before the court hearing, Ana’s son went into emergency transplant surgery. But Ana got her immigration papers and the transplant will be covered retroactively.

“I am so happy and so grateful for all the help that the Buhai Center has given me and my family,” Ana says tearfully. “I didn’t know how it was going to get resolved. I thought it was the end of the road for us.”

Her face brightens as she talks about how life has changed for her children. Her youngest son is in 9th grade and her daughter in college. Her older son, now a healthy 11th-grader, speaks publicy on behalf of organ donation.

“It’s nice to see a happy eneding,” Center staff member Karina Estrella says, “especially when it’s a situation involving kids. We make a lot of difference in the lives of our clients, but we don’t often see how directly we impact children in such life-changing ways.”

*We have changed the name of our client to protect her privacy.